POSTON: What in the World 2018

It is that time of year again to reflect on the year that was in news. There was plenty of funny and odd news this past year. As we highlight the news of the year, keep in mind this story is opinionated and biased. Kick back, relax and enjoy the best of 2018.

ERIC POSTON

GOLF BLOW

The PGA officially announced 2018 would be the last year for the Bridgestone Invitational at Firestone Country Club. Is it bad enough Akron area residents already have to deal with the disappointment of the Indians, Browns and Cavs that now they lost their golf tournament too?

CHURCH WRONGDOING

When St. Paul Catholic Church in Akron announced they were closing their parish school they couldn’t have done it any more disappointing. The pastor thought it would be a good idea to close the school without gathering any input from the members of the parish. To say it caused an uproar is an understatement. Any wonder why the church is half empty each week and membership has dropped?

NAKED RUNAWAY

The Summit County Sheriff in February received several calls of a naked man running through the streets of Coventry Township. The man was arrested with a knife, box cutter and meth. The incident happened at 8 a.m., so unfortunately not many people had their blinds pulled.

THAT IS A LOT OF MEAT

A Giant Eagle employee at the Lawrence Township store admitted to eating $9,200 worth of deli meat over an eight year period. This gives a whole new meaning to eating for free. Amazingly, Giant Eagle didn’t press any charges.

NOT THE BEST HIDING SPOT

A woman at the Grayton Road Tavern in Cleveland thought it would be a good idea to crawl through a ceiling tile in the women’s bathroom. The restaurant is known for the Queen of Heart game which landed one winner $5.5 million. The woman who crawled into the ceiling may have thought they money was stashed there, but the restaurant said the money isn’t kept in the restaurant. To make matters worse, it was 93 degrees the day she went into the ceiling.

PIG WATCH

A North Ridgeville man was walking home from a train station when he called police to alert them of a pig following him. Yes, I said that right, a pig. The man told police he didn’t know what to do, he was drunk for the record.

PIZZA DELIVERY

A Canton man should have just gotten his pizza delivered. After picking up his pizza he drove off in his car, which only had three wheels. The police busted him for OVI.

ROUNDABOUT HATERS

Every time the city of Green makes a post about roundabouts on their Facebook page, all the haters come out and complain about how horrible roundabouts are. It is easy to be a hater when you can hide behind a screen. I should mention that not a single citizen has spoken on the issue of roundabouts at a City Council meeting.

WASTING MONEY

Akron did a great job wasting money this past year. When the city had the bright idea to install bike lanes and parking on East Exchange Street it went over about as well as getting a root canal. After taking all the heat, they got a crown, I mean returned the road to the way it was before. Maybe next time they will gather some public input.

TOYS R GONE

I never thought I would live to see the day Toys R Us goes out of business. It happened, and this Christmas just wasn’t the same for kids. I guess kids nowadays won’t get to grow up to be Toys R Us kids.

FEELINGS HURT

Former Coventry Schools Treasurer might have left his job over a comment made during a state oversight finance meeting. The comment made by a commission member was that the treasurer was dragging his feet to get the district out of fiscal emergency. Either the treasurer has thin skin or he had another reason to leave.

CUT IT WITH A KNIFE

The old saying of “the fog is so thick you could cut it with a knife” or the saying “the tension is so high in the room you could cut it with a knife” proved true in Green. When Green City Council voted on a $7.5 million settlement with NEXUS over a pipeline, I wasn’t sure if I should reach for an oxygen mask or cut the tension with a knife.

2018 was another funny year. I hope 2019 can be even funnier.

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Contact Eric Poston at: postoneric09@gmail.com